Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Justin Projects' LiveJournal:

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Saturday, November 21st, 2009
1:36 am	Status Update Magazine's "Definitive Gaze" has rapidly become one of my favorite songs ever. (5 given fucks | give a fuck?)
Sunday, October 25th, 2009
4:26 pm	Lunch on Sunday Or: Lester Bangs Was Not Last of the White Niggers Las Margaritas is a nice, nearby Mexican restaurant we like to frequent.  The food isn’t necessarily stand out, but for Americanized Latin fare it’s a good, sturdy value.  The service is always efficient and courteous; I’ve never had a bad meal there, or bad service. Today Perry and I went to lunch there, and they were pretty busy.  Busier than I’ve probably ever seen them.  There were a few big parties with smaller tables peppered throughout the dining room.  It was clear from the servers’ hurried strides that they had plenty to do.  It didn’t really worry me.  A longer wait is just more time to talk. Chips and salsa were delivered promptly, as were drinks.  We were sat behind a party of twelve: two sets of parents and seven kids!  I have beef with overpopulation, and seeing people like that always irritates my subconscious.  I try not to let it seep into my thinking mind, because that’s a good way to be a judgmental prick.  Alas, I am only human. Of course, so are they.  Or at least they appear to be. Our waitress reappeared to take our order.  She asked if we were ready, we acquiesced.  As she readied her pen and pad to take our order, one of the mothers with the party of twelve turned around in her seat and called to the waitress, “Ma’am…” and waved her hand limply in the air.  Our waitress turned to her in restrained consternation and raised a finger in a “one moment” gesture.  If you ask me, she used the wrong finger. The waitress turned back to take our order.  Perry and I were looking at one another in stunned disbelief.  We see a lot of rude, tactless behavior working in a restaurant ourselves.  It’s quite different to see it from a customer standpoint.  Added to that our accumulated experiences as servers, well, we were dumbstruck.  The waitress was more annoyed, which the expression on her face clearly delineated.  She apologized to us and then we apologized to her.  I glared at the fat woman, who was still turned in her seat watching the waitress.  Her eyes flit to me and she saw me staring at her.  She averted her eyes and turned back to face the table.  The waitress smiled at us. Our order was taken.  We got our appetizers in a timely fashion.  We watched three different servers be flagged down by the same woman for things like salsa and drink refills.  On our way to the restaurant, I was discussing that new Sandra Bullock movie with Perry, where Bullock’s character adopts a homeless black teenager and helps turn him into a football star.  The character will clearly resonate with a certain suburban female archetype that is all too common and far too accepted.  That’s the kind of woman this was.  An Acolyte of Oprah.  A practitioner of slavish self-devotion.  Someone incapable of negativity, hypocrisy, or wrongdoing.  A walking delusion. As if her behavior weren’t bad enough, we were within earshot of their party’s conversation.  As food was delivered, one of the husbands offered, “That’s why you never see a skinny Mexican” with a chortle.  Now, I like to say off-color things, I’ll tell a racist joke, but I clearly do so with a heavy dollop of irony.  This was something different.  It’s probably even worse than overt, violent prejudice.  This is casual racism, virulent and protean. Perry says to me, “That’s why you never see a skinny American in a Mexican restaurant.” We were eating as the party finished up their meals.  As they engaged in small talk afterwards, we heard the fat woman’s husband start dropping words like “mission”, “devotion”, and other Christianly terms.  He was obviously some sort of preacher or minister!  This compounded my distaste for these useless, selfish people.  I have little patience for the persecution of Christians as narrow-minded simpletons who force their beliefs on everyone.  I grew up with a really positive churchgoing experience.  I know first hand not all of them are like that.  But these people – THESE PEOPLE! – these are the ones who perpetuate unfair stereotypes.  These are white niggers. Anyway, I thought the preacher thing brought us full circle, but I was wrong.  Suddenly a group of waitresses came around the corner with a sombrero and an accordion.  They put the hat on the fat woman, and they all sang her “Happy Birthday” as the cheap accordion wheezed out of tune.  The other wife snapped a picture of the birthday cow, and preacher man said, “Someone’s got a new profile picture.” God help us all. (6 given fucks | give a fuck?)
Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
1:31 pm	The New Frontier State to state all that changes is the weather Together we stand, united we fall in front of the same old strip malls and grocery stores The same old mores taught in every school pupils fed their scruples on silver spoons …but soon it all unspools Talking heads on TV know the news is gossip just for show In this big king’s dominion fact is just popular opinion Coast to coast all that’s different is the climate Fires are spreading like the law I saw the best minds of my generation never manifest at all Will they heed the call? Pundits on the radio take the truth as mud to throw Dope the kids on Ritalin doubt is just a second opinion Town to town we all watch the same sun go down We pledge allegiance to the flag We buy the same old swag and suck the same old swill and we will have our fill until the rivers dry “I’ve got to do for me and mine!” …and so it all entwines Traitors up on Wall Street see that their failures impact me The defenders of democracy tolerate hypocrisy Ask your neighbors, they would know the truth is gossip just for show Here it is, the new frontier let’s raise a fence and crack a beer (give a fuck?)
Saturday, October 10th, 2009
4:17 pm	I love this website. (give a fuck?)
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
12:47 pm	All the King's Men I stumbled onto this random article concerning the estate of Jack Kirby suing for rights to the characters he created for Marvel Comics.  And it starts out with a characteristically misguided attitude: In a move the (sic) reeks of opportunism and greed… (Why I bother with idiot writers who can’t be bothered to edit their work is quite beyond me.) Opportunism and greed, you say?  Well, what do we have a few paragraphs later? When a programmer working for Microsoft writes a new program and it turns into the major code behind a new piece of Microsoft software, that programmer doesn’t own the rights to his code. He was paid by Microsoft to write it and has already been fairly compensated for his time and effort. He doesn’t have the right to sue once that program starts making millions of dollars, just because he is jealous. What difference is there, ideologically, between the Kirby estate’s bid for copyright control and Microsoft parlaying some poor, likely underpaid schmuck’s hard work into a million-dollar seller?  NONE.  That’s CAPITALISM.  Opportunism and greed are the cornerstones of this economic system.  Already this article’s logic has cancelled itself out.  Lesson to wannabe journalists and self-righteous bloggers: check your moral compasses at the door. A word about the notion of “fair compensation”: Why shouldn't these companies be obliged to pay some small stipend or maintain a profit sharing arrangement with the employees that are directly responsible for their success?  If the employee fails to perform and deliver successful work, they are FIRED.  No longer paid.  If that's fair, then why isn't the reverse – a perennial bonus based on individual contribution – also?  Both the film and recording industries maintain this sort of practice.  Residuals, royalties, why doesn’t a similarly creative field – i.e. COMIC BOOKS – follow suit?  Why is it acceptable for cartoonists to be shat on?  Why is it so reprehensible for a family to recoup some fraction of the income they should have received in the first place?  The blatant hypocrisy exposed in the general punter is alarming. “Work-for-hire” is an archaic concept that was always ill defined in relation to intellectual properties.  I don’t think either side – either employer or employee – fully grasped the repercussions of such vague contractual agreements.  How quick people are to defend the "rights" of corporations over those of individuals is baffling.  I assume it relates to the American Dream, the inherent money lust built into any citizen of this Great Country of Ours.  But the sides taken are conspicuously ironic.  Why should anyone take the side of a huge conglomerate over that of an individual?  What’s the motivation there?  Jealousy?  Resentment?  Those are the only two that spring immediately to mind. A sense of fair play is a matter of reason and logic.  Unfortunately we live in a society that is heavily informed by emotional reaction.  That element – our “feelings” as they are called – undermine any accurate meting of justice.  We are fucked in the head by our own traitorous heart. Full article here. (1 given fuck | give a fuck?)
Monday, September 28th, 2009
7:45 pm	Brutal Honesty From this article about Courtney Love: Love recalls when Frances was about nine, there was an awards ceremony that Michael Stipe, her godfather, was singing at, and Bono was picking up an award. “Frances was holding Stipe’s and Bono’s hands and she goes, ‘You guys are jealous of each other, aren’t you?’” I love that story.   (1 given fuck | give a fuck?)
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009
2:09 pm	Local Journalism Hits New Lows Creative Loafing - Generation Jerk The cover of Creative Loafing features some thug by the name of Nik Richie (not his real name).  Richie rode the coattails of Tucker Max (I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell) and started a website devoted to ridiculing trendy bar-goers, particularly girls.  In principle I am not against this.  Were it done with even an ounce of wit or style, I’d likely be on the fucking site every day.  But evident from the article, it’s the same inarticulate, boorish frat boy humor so popular in this era of mediocrity. Admittedly, I didn’t read the whole article.  Once I started seeing all those (sic)’s peppered throughout the paragraphs, I stopped short.  This is cover-worthy news?  This is entertainment?  A bunch of spoiled, overpaid, underdressed semiliterate drunks behaving like high schoolers?  I don’t hate Nik Richie personally; rather I resent him as symptomatic of a society that is Roman in its decadent proportions.  In the photo on the cover of CL, the vacuity is immediately evident in his eyes.  Carlton Hargo attempts to defend Richie’s virtue as a humorist, a social gadfly.  I do not agree.  This mouth-breather is about as funny as leukemia. Q-Notes - The Sanford Effect Mark Rogers is a blogger who specializes in exposing gayness in anti-gay politicians.  He has Larry Craig and Mark Foley notched on his belt, and that’s all right with me.  I applaud a guy exposing hypocrisy and calling these vicious cunts out on their indiscretions.  Walk it like you talk it, gentlemen. But now Rogers is going after South Carolina’s Lt. Governor Andre Bauer.  Bauer is not quoted as having any militant anti-gay stances or passing moral judgements.  The article seems to presuppose that in order to be an elected official in the South, one must hold these types of views.  This is the same sort of narrow-minded mentality that spawns homophobia, racism, et al.  No, Rogers is desperate for attention, seeking to substantiate rumors in an attempt to “out” someone who may very simply value his privacy.  Where’s the harm in that?  Gays that insist visibility is the only way to live are in fact ashamed of themselves.  Their overt pride is a clear indication of some lingering, deep-seated, subliminal shame. This article is completely illogical and full of conjecture.  It’s filler.  It’s tabloid journalism.  Q-Notes is far from a refutable news source (a few months ago they ran a cover story on four college boys engaged in a 4-way relationship.  I imagine were it four, overweight, hairy 40somethings doing the same it wouldn’t have warranted the same coverage).  The rub therein is that so many people take this crap at face value.  It’s a paper; it’s to be believed.  But these people, they are not to be trusted.  Everybody has an agenda, whether they own up to it or not. (2 given fucks | give a fuck?)
Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
3:09 pm	Majority rule is an intellectual lynching. (give a fuck?)
Sunday, September 13th, 2009
8:41 pm	I'll Keep It with Mine Youth was never my refuge, and adulthood isn’t really my bag.  I’m ageless.  I’m useless.  But to be useless in a useless world is not without its virtue.  I hear phantom musics trace along the ceiling, coasting through the rafters in the attic.  Lines of melody chasing the dusted air.  It fades too quickly to determine which corner of my imagination sang it, or if it was simply the aural thumbprint of lives past. Autumn is coming, always such a lovely time for me.  A time to lay the year previous to rest.  Then the warm pupa of winter, a little bubble of heat nestled in the careless elements.  You come out the other end wet at the nose and clear of mind, like you just fell out of some seasonal vagina. I know no more what I’m doing now than I did when I was five.  I had a better sense of wonder, and I understood happiness.  Were that simplicity hiding in some random nook, waiting to be rediscovered like an old brittle letter, I’d look all over.  I’d read it, and cry, and lose it again. (give a fuck?)
Thursday, September 3rd, 2009
1:43 pm	Reform Mentality The American Dream stands revealed.  Get stinking rich quick.  Win these fabulous prizes.  Do not interfere with the free market.  We are a nation of consumers, of capitalists.  But the dividends reaped are proportionate to the investments made.  You get what you pay for. Habeas Corpus, citizens.  The laws that apply to the corporeal body do not extend to the corporate body.  These white-collar gangs and their zombie institutions, the Boards that Live like a Man, they are the darkest manifestation of the American Dream.  We mustn’t impede their chances, their opportunities, for to do so is to trample upon our own meager ambitions.  Everybody wants to rule the world, but nobody knows what the hell to do with it. We as individuals identify with the group.  We must admit the similarities, we must own up to the resemblance.  This identification has been put to good use and incalculable effect.  For if we are to ever realize our dreams, we must therefore commend the realization of the Corporate Dream.  Limitless profit.  Laissez-faire.  Freedom.  We love Freedom. A class act, or a caste mold?  The distinction should be clear.  But through the accumulated haze of Western history, the sights are obscured.  In the waking slumber of hope we are lead astray by forces that devour us.  To sleep, and never wake, that is called death.  To eat, and shit gold, that is a miracle. Lotto tickets litter the sidewalk like autumn leaves.  They blow wistfully in the chill breezes of another year in twilight.  But only that much changes.  All that ever changes are the numbers.   (give a fuck?)
Sunday, August 30th, 2009
7:11 pm	Give us a drink, and make it quick... I noticed two houses with cutesy banners alluding to clandestine alcoholism while walking the dogs earlier.  Both featured shakers and martini glasses.  One said, “It’s 5 o’clock somewhere”* and the other said, “Sip Ahoy”.  These things upset my delicate insecurities.  Having a DUI under my belt, and not (legally) driving for the subsequent four years (or bothering to own an automobile for the last three) these odd proclamations of drunk pride strike me. There’s this PSA I’ve heard on the radio, where some doctor informs a man that his girlfriend has sustained minor injuries in a car accident.  The man is relieved, and then the doctor tells him he’s lying, and that the girlfriend is in critical condition.  This is explained to be illustrative that “buzzed” driving is “drunk” driving.  That any level of intoxication is a threat to the safety of ourselves, and others.  It’s an absolute thing.  No two ways about it. When I got my DUI, I was the only person in the car.  This is telling.  Frequently, when I did drive and went out a lot with friends, I'd get the nod to do the driving, even if I had drank.  Somehow, having people in the car made me hyper aware of my station, and that sharpened my concentration.  I always had this weird pride about it, being the guy that could get everybody home safe.  I guess it shows some form of low self esteem that I’m more careless when it’s my own life at stake.  The circumstances of my DUI were minor and petty, and it pisses me off to think I was so stupid. And that’s not a statement of righteous self-recrimination.  I know that anyone that drinks with any regularity has likely driven a car shortly after having a drink.  Anyone that would deny that is a bald faced liar.  Now, people who don’t drink and remain sanctimonious about the whole thing, that’s fine.  That’s their position and they practice it.  But I think it’s really silly that there’s absolutely no consideration given to the variables involved with the issue when it’s so venomously attacked.  And those that are so passionate about it, what reaction would those cutesy little banners elicit from them? Double standards are nothing new, and human beings seem quite adept at inventing new justifications for rash or irresponsible behavior.  I’m not justifying anything.  I say everyone is an idiot, and that includes me.  But it can be frustrating, in the face off all that convolution and contradiction, to find yourself targeted by those no better than you.  To find yourself staring down the barrel of condemnation when it could just as rightfully point the other way, that’s a terrible feeling.  And I have to wonder if these people, with their drink flags flying, their shameless advertising, have ever had to deal with any real persecution. I am forced to the conclusion that no, they probably haven’t. *Is there a more obnoxious Jimmy Buffetism than this?  I don’t think there is, or ever will be. (1 given fuck | give a fuck?)
Tuesday, August 25th, 2009
1:52 pm	There's Always Room for... This is a good example of why I love Jello Biafra: A friend of mine’s father knew someone in Denver who lived at the bottom of a hill. In Denver it snows and gets very cold in the winter and there’s a lot of ice. So he would leave this car at the bottom of the hill, and pour water all over the street to ice the street up. He’d wait for a car to skid and crash into his car. He’d get his money from the insurance company and then never fix the car! The next time it got icy, another car would hit the same car and he’d collect on it again. That’s the American spirit in a nutshell. The entire interview is great reading, if you’re so inclined.  Peep here. LiveJournal has my friends’ page whittled down to 5 most recent entries.  That’s crap.   (give a fuck?)
Monday, August 17th, 2009
2:05 pm	The Nature of it All I’m a monkey in a diaper a viper that’s been de-fanged a kangaroo in boots and boxing gloves We’re a flock of doves with tagged feet herded sheep lemmings taking leaps high off the edge Dogs with no balls pissing the hall when we should be marking trees barking, baying at the moon We’re caged birds and Maya Angelou knows why we sing Doomed like dinosaurs to extinction the distinction is self-awareness We share this with no other animal so far removed from the nature of it all The grass isn’t green the air isn’t clean and garbage piles up on the walls The stalls are divided and fates are decided by entities with no body or soul The whole of existence is met with resistance in the effort of total control The light has gone muted ideals are disputed in pursuit of material goals  I’m a foal with three legs an egg with no yolk a dancing bear in Russian garb We’re larvae on a corpse vultures with our course heads thrust deep into carrion Seals to be clubbed mice to be drugged rats to run a hungry maze We’re spayed and we’re neutered We’re trained and we’re tutored to roll over, to lay down, to shake Baked through climate change and ozone holes the tolls we’ve taken are clear We possess no instinct, only fear so far removed from the nature of it all   (give a fuck?)
Wednesday, August 12th, 2009
11:59 am	Riffin' on Jimmy Corrigan I found a copy of Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth by Chris Ware at Book Buyers last week.  It was only thirteen bucks, so I snapped it up.  It’s always nice to find quality comics literature in a used bookstore, even if it does indicate some dabbler abandoning a lonely book (even more ironic in light of the little strip on the back cover of the softback edition). Anyway, at first I found it visually stunning but nearly incomprehensible to read.  The art is rich and simple, the colors muted and lovely, and while the dialogue has its shining moments of efface, the layouts and the garbled continuity got to me.  Working together, the vagueness of the thing started to wear.  Yet so caught up in the sensory delights of the art, I found the more I persevered, the more rewarding the book became.  To the point now where I can scarcely put it down. I made myself this morning, so I may get some of my own work done.  So after coming to an appropriate break to leave off, but still craving a little more, I decided to inspect with more scrutiny the other ephemera the book offers: the covers, pull quotes, etc.  Ware works all these tiny details into a daunting whole, but if given the proper attention, it soars with humor and sadness, and sets free the imagination. The pull quotes were very broad.  Some praised the book, and others damned it.  What struck me about this contrast was its direct relation to the modern human condition.  That is how we treat the glib as virtuous, and the thoughtful as tedious.  The negative criticisms of the book were clearly motivated by a refusal to pause, slow, and give the proper attention, just as I was at the outset.  Yet these “critics’ speak with the authority of someone who has put in the proper amount to get out, and suffice to say, these men are liars.  It’s one thing to glean the surface and just comment on the surface.  It’s another entirely to dismiss an epic work when you can’t even be bothered to read it. This is why I find most popular criticism i.e. career critics to be nigh unto useless.  Opinion is a veritably random confluence of bias, personal experience and circumstance.  We all weather that storm.  So why do some guys get paid for it, and others ridiculed?  It’s nonsense. Anyway ~ Jimmy Corrigan is shaping up to be an excellent book.   (give a fuck?)
Tuesday, August 11th, 2009
3:11 pm	From Concentrate Somehow I followed a link maze through YouTube and ended up watching Tom Snyder interview Ayn Rand.  Weird.  I'd sure like to sing Ms. Rand this lil' song o' mine: How many self-serving epiphanies can one life contain? How many self-fulfilling prophecies do we now maintain? Use the brain they gave you to consider this: in subjectivity reality does not exist We’re 80% 80% post-consumer waste We’re dehydrated masticated We’re from concentrate How many cartoon light bulbs do we have to break? How many prescriptions do we take somnambulate? Use the name they gave you to remember well: in objectivity reality is hell We’re 80% 80% post-consumer waste We’re mandated mentholated Now with better taste! Like a child eating paste or chewing the lead paint off a toy they can’t afford the reward’s a stomachache Soccer moms with strollers and dumb husbands swear by fate until the day it gets away Then the ingrates misbehave They’re 80% 80% post-consumer waste They’re so polluted reconstituted They’re from concentrate   (4 given fucks | give a fuck?)
Wednesday, August 5th, 2009
7:43 pm	You Chew the Future like Scenery This article. There’s something morbidly ironic about people with a conflict between their sexuality and religion.  Especially so in light of which one is the actual choice.  Of course hateful conservative Christians seem to have no trouble justifying non-procreative sex, and oral sex seems just as unnatural as anal (maybe even more, at least you have the whole “oops, wrong hole” angle with hetero buttsex).  I guess that’s why back alley hummers are so popular with our public paradigms of moral purity. Speaking of procreation, an article in the new Creative Loafing mentions overpopulation along with global warming as some sort of boring, overblown issue.  That’s news to me.  While the number of people is alarmingly unsustainable as-is, overpopulation seems to be a monstrous issue with endless implications that the general populace lives in total denial of.  Maybe I’m the ignorant one here, but it never comes up, when issues it causes – like global warming – get all kinds of press.  So fucked up.  Maybe humanity does deserve extinction…I’m just not looking forward to the intervening developments between now and then. (2 given fucks | give a fuck?)
Thursday, July 30th, 2009
2:12 pm	I was raised to believe that ideas had merit and dreams had value.  Happiness and accomplishment were a hard day’s work away.  But happiness is a flat screen TV, and accomplishment is a well-landscaped lawn.  And I don’t have either one. (3 given fucks | give a fuck?)
Tuesday, July 28th, 2009
10:00 pm	Fragments of Tuesday Woke early.  Let out dogs, fed them.  Went with Queener to beauty supply store for shampoo etc.  Accompanied her to DMV for a copy of her license, which she lost.  Waited two hours to be turned away due to lingering troubles in California.  While waiting at DMV, annoying white woman with spoiled child sat on the floor nearby.  The woman was inexcusable.  Her daughter started to sing, and she made her stop.  The girl asked why.  Her mother answered, “Because we live in the United States of America and not everybody wants to hear about Jesus.  You might offend somebody singing about Jesus, but people can use dirty words.”  This confused me, imagined it with an 8 year-old mind, even worse.  Stupid, worthless specimen of humanity.  The DMV is full of those. Drove around to find a place to eat.  Had a nice lunch at Foskoskies on Shamrock.  Very tasty.  Then to the pool.  Initially it wasn’t relaxing.  Too much time was spent arguing with Ryan via text messaging over his move-out.  Stopped that nonsense; sunned and swam.  Read comics in the sunshine on a chaise lounge.  Such poor man’s decadence.  Scarcely missed a rain shower.  Went to Dairy Queen and got ice cream in the rain.  Came back to my house, and Queener’s front right tire nearly popped off.  A busted ball joint.  She got towed and left me to fend for myself.  Made salad and lentil soup for dinner.  Homemade lentil soup, not from a can.  I like to cook.  I seem to have an aptitude for it.  I guess all these years working in restaurants haven’t been a total waste. I am in a very null mood.  I am sinking in my own ambivalence.  I am once more on my own.  No prospect invigorates me.  I am vacant.  Yet I experience insights that are quietly cathartic.  Calm interrupted only by fits and starts of newer understanding. (3 given fucks | give a fuck?)
Saturday, July 25th, 2009
1:30 pm	By Gates’ own admission, this sort of thing happens to poor blacks every day, and it never warrants this level of attention.  So, because Gates is a professor at Harvard, because of his status, this incident has become a presidential priority.  Two things: if the President weren’t black, would he have commented at all?  Second: again, this isn’t about race, it’s about class. (give a fuck?)
Friday, July 24th, 2009
9:04 pm	Existential Abortion Photographs were once precious, like memories.  There was the physical commitment of film.  Even a bad shot could linger like regret.  But now, past the advent of digital photography, we can pick and choose our moments, which to preserve and which to excise.  And those unwanted disappear totally from the face of existence, never to be stumbled upon again. Memories so disposable and you tell me life is sacred. (give a fuck?)