Litterature

Your Sincerity is Embarrassing

I don’t know where it came from, but I had a startling realization of late, concerning the whole prevalence of sexuality in the mainstream, how it’s come to define so much of our lives when it really is something quite minimal. It’s one of those ideas I’ve always had, lurking just beneath the surface of understanding, dodging the hooks of logic like a clever fish.

“Coming out” is an institution; pride parades a regular phenomenon. These very public spectacles highlight an immensely private side of life. That’s part of what perturbs me about it all. But I’ve realized that by “coming out”, by admitting your own sexuality in such a ritualized vis-à-vis institutionalized way, it’s in fact validating that there’s something “wrong” to it. It’s like repentance. It’s confessing to a crime. It’s absolution of some deep-seated guilt. The blame can point exponentially, but at the core, pride, coming out, etc., are nothing more than counters to shame, or even exercises in it.

Also, I don’t like that it’s so easy for everyone to think they know what “gay” means. I don’t even know what it means and I’m supposed to be it! It’s a useless signifier, purporting to a culture that doesn’t exist. There’s no culture in sex or love; these things transcend politics and society. There is no sense in either. So why are we trying so hard? I suppose it gets down to Western civilization and its obsessive impulse to compartmentalize everything, but even that I can’t buy wholesale. There are plenty of Western cultures that are very open about all types of sexual desire (I’m thinking mostly South American here). It’s a facet of their lives they don’t flaunt or revel in, but it’s not condemned outright. It is what it is, and it’s let be.

Some things I don’t want to understand. Some I don’t need to understand. That may be ignorant, but then what is enlightenment if not exalted ignorance?

Another thing that’s irritated me lately is the ubiquitous usage of the word “socialism” by people who didn’t even know what the word meant nine months ago (and likely still don’t). This buzzword du jour has worn out its welcome like an obnoxious houseguest, and I wish all these idiot pundit wannabes would find a new catchphrase to latch on to (Glenn Beck suggests "fascist"). It’s hilarious to me that people who throw words like “commie” and “socialist” around like epithets don’t think twice about gift registries or baby showers being capitalist analogues to either system. Next time you want to denigrate someone as a socialist, think long and hard about that cute little onesie you’re giving to your friend’s new baby, you COMMIE PIG.

I’m tired of everything being turned into a political statement. I’m tired of people who force their politics into any conversation, for lack of better reasoning. These are people that are totally incapable of independent thought. When the mind comes to its own conclusions, it transmutes stale ideas into originality. Do you absolutely need your partisan handbook before you open your mouth? What’s worse, how many of these retards posit themselves as intelligent, or insightful? Nine times out of ten they’re victims of a romanticized past with no basis in history or reality, or a rose tinted vision of the future best left to the plot of a bad sci-fi novel. If you’ve never actually seen something, or experienced it, there is a good chance that it isn’t real.

Reality is perception, and perception is individual, therefore reality is individual. That sounds schizophrenic, but then again, I don’t necessarily subscribe to those standards. Fuck your psychology.

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